


4:37

by coalas



Series: CT [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, kinda OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 13:43:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3694439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coalas/pseuds/coalas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How sad it is, Nebi thinks — not without feeling a shameful warmth rise to his face —, to look so beautiful even when you’re broken beyond all repair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	4:37

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a [prompt challenge](http://coalas.tumblr.com/post/115009206349) @ Tumblr.  
> 

"Why are you up this early?" Nebi says, walking up to the spot where Klaus rests in the small balcony, right shoulder pressed against the wall. He rubs his eyes slightly, feeling the cold breeze seep into the cramped apartment. Hell, it’s still dark outside.

"Nothing much," Klaus replies, dark blue eyes meeting cadet grey for a fraction of a second, and it’s enough for Nebi to notice something’s wrong. "You shouldn’t worry."

"What’s going on?" Nebi asks before kneeling to sit beside him and putting a hand on his free shoulder. "This isn’t like you."

"I’m okay, really," Klaus says, trying his best to look reassuring and still avoiding visual contact. Nebi feels almost tempted to let him have this moment of denial, but he knows it’s too much to bear. He’s been through this way too many times.

"You can talk to me, you know," Nebi mutters, a bit embarrassed, so low Klaus tilts his head towards his face a little. "Keeping it all bottled up is the most poisonous thing you can do to yourself."

"I’m aware," Klaus nods, raising the corners of his mouth in a failed attempt at a sad smile. "I’m sorry. I’m still not even sure how to sort out all of the stuff that’s going through my head."

"Did you have another nightmare?" Nebi shifts just a little closer to him, feeling his leg brush against Klaus’s foot. There is but a faint orange light in the horizon, just enough to show itself amongst heavy gray clouds and tint both the walls and Klaus’s face as softly as a kiss, and Nebi can only stare in awe. How sad it is, Nebi thinks — not without feeling a shameful warmth rise to his face —, to look so beautiful even when you’re broken beyond all repair.

Klaus chews on his lip and looks down, to his hands, as if he holds something as frail as his own life.

"It was Kiyoshi," Klaus whispers, his voice weak and broken as the last syllable makes its way out his throat, and Nebi can see the weight of a name crashing down on him at once. He has tears in the corners of his eyes and words under his tongue and it’s too much to try to hold all of them back.

"There was nothing you could have done," Nebi says, taking a trembling hand into his own. "None of us, actually."

"I know, but I can’t help but hate myself for it. I feel so fucking useless," Klaus squeezes Nebi’s hand just a little, as if he’s trying to hold on to whatever’s keeping him at least half sane. "He was the first to reach out to me and now I can barely look Hali in the eye without remembering his face. This is too much. It’s so unfair."

"He was a good person," Nebi sighs, and Klaus raises his head to look at him. "Kiyoshi was nice to have around, after all. Hali loved him a lot, and I guess I didn’t even realize I actually liked him until—"

"Until he died," Klaus finishes, unable to hold back tears anymore. "I dreamt of him in a coffin again. He was just twenty, damn it, he was— that’s just a year older than I am. It could have been me. Maybe it should have."

"Don’t say this," Nebi says, removing one of his hands from their grip on Klaus’s. There is a bitter, awful taste in his mouth when the last few words sink in and he starts drying his tears with the back of his hand, drawing slow circles on his cheek with the tip of his thumb. "You’re here, though, and I really wish you never felt this way."

"But it’s true. Kiyoshi had an education and a family to come back to. He had childhood friends back in his city. He and Hali had plans. He was loved by so many people we don’t even know and now he’s being mourned by all of them, too. He deserved to live."

"So do you."

"If I died, it wouldn’t be anybody’s problem, you know. There’s not much I’m useful for and I’m not the smartest guy around either. You have Hali and your mom, Olivia has her folks too. I’m alone. It would be as if I never existed. Wouldn’t it be better for someone like him to live?"

"Stop," Nebi pleads, holding Klaus’s hand tighter and staring hard at him. It hurts him so much more than he ever imagined to see Klaus like this, to imagine him dead. "Please, stop it."

"Sorry," Klaus murmurs in the smallest voice Nebi has ever heard escape from his lips. He shakes even harder now, leaning forward to muffle his sobbing on the curve of Nebi’s shoulder. "I’m so sorry, I’m— I don’t want to die. I’m just scared. I’m sorry."

"It’s okay," Nebi says, lying to both of them with such simple words. There’s no way in hell any of them can be okay in those circumstances, but he knows it’s what they need to hear. He looks at the muddled colors in the sky for a brief moment before closing his eyes and pulling Klaus for an embrace. "You’re alive right now and you will stay like this for a good while, I promise. There’s so much left to see."

Klaus nods quietly, tear-stained face buried in Nebi’s sweater, and wraps his arms around him as well.

"You’re not alone, by the way," Nebi starts, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment now that he’s actually saying what crossed his mind. It feels right, though. "I may not be much to begin with, but I’m here for you."

"I know," Klaus speaks a little louder this time, pressing himself closer and being soothed by the soft caress of Nebi’s fingertips on his back. "Thank you."


End file.
